Friday, March 7, 2008

Could I have learned? Really?

Time of "crisis" where things really hurt me, and feeling out of control are the greatest challenge to me. I used to self medicate (lets not go there) and when I put my life in order, I turned to food. It's legal, its safe, it's even mostly socially accepted right?

When I realized a little more than 5 years ago that that wasn't working either, I was at a loss. Now what? Things were good then though, I was newly married with a wonderful man (who's still wonderful 5 years later *grin*) starting a new life, ready for everything. I joined Weight Watchers, learned to eat, to cook, to control portions. GREAT! I'm an extremist, when I start on something I'm all out on it.

5 years later I'm still looking for steady work in my field, the governor of California just announced that he's cutting millions (and more) in education (I'm a teacher). Yesterday I got a very bad news, a member of my family is very sick. Things are not good. Don't get me wrong, I know that everybody have bad news and hard times. I'm still happy with my life, but lets just say that things aren't bright and sunny right now.

After I got that news, I sat around in a daze for a while... then I thought "Cheetos, that would make me feel better!" I even got dressed, put on a hat (cause my hair was a mess, no time for a shower I need Cheetos!). I went outside and stopped just in front of the door.

"What the hell am I doing? Cheetos?"

I turned around went back inside, washed a bowl of grapes and sat back down at the computer. You know what I looked at? 2 things: Bento boxes, and fairies. Things that make me smile, things that can just give me a break from thinking too much.

Oh, and guess what? It's legal, it's safe, it's socially accepted AND it's healthy!

I got my comfort, my escape, and I didn't eat those freakin' Cheetos! I think I might just have learned something in the last 5 years.

Wouldn't you know it, I practiced Reframing without even thinking about it!

Be good n stuff!

2 comments:

Mara said...

I'm so glad to see you have a penchant for fairies as well! I tend to turn to them when I have a hard time as well... now, I'm on a search for a fairy bento. If I find one, I'm buying 2 and sending you one!

Willow said...

Aaaaaaaaaawwww You are so sweet!!

I been looking though.. didn't find any yet!

*blush* I bought another new box today.. 8... and I got all sorts of cute stuff too!!!

I'm addicted!