What would a member say?

Like most people in the USA, we're feeling the bite of the housing melt down. I don't deal well with money. I don't know a thing about it, I don't like it, I'd be much happier if we could just exchange stuff like the cavemen... I know...

For the last few weeks I haven't been sleeping very well. I turn things in my mind all night and try to find solutions to problems I really don't understand. Last night I decided I would sleep in this morning to make up for the lost sleep.

I actually fell asleep pretty quickly, which is a miracle for me, and slept for a long time. Forget about sleeping in though. 4:30am, I'm wide awake staring at the ceiling. "What if we're making a mistake? What if we take the wrong path? What if we lose everything? What if I have to give up my dog?" I was working myself up to a panic so I decided to get up.

I know what I'll do, I'll cook us a big breakfast, that will make us feel better. I started down the stairs thinking eggs, cooked ham (we don't have bacon) toast, the whole thing.

I stopped in the middle of the stairs, what the hell was I thinking? What did we talk about last week at the meetings? How is food going to solve our financial problems? Make us any wiser? How will getting fat help me find a job?

I sat on the stairs, Leo the monster kitten got in my lap, and I started looking back at the last few weeks. I've been doing that a lot, the whole "this will make me feel better", or "I don't give a crap, I deserve it". Not enough to gain weight or anything, but it's a slipping slope, and I'm slipping fast. This is not working, what do I do?

"What would you tell a member?" I always ask myself in such situations. Honestly, I have no idea. I have a few platitude, automatic responses that apparently don't mean all that much cause they aren't helping me. I don't have all the solution, all the wise words. I just don't.

"What would a member say to another member?" Hum, now that's a different question. 4:45am, sitting in the stairs, on the edge of a binge, trying to figure this out, what would a member say to another member? "Get your ass to a gym, and work it out. Then you'll be able to think clearly."

You know, that's probably what my peeps on the message board would say too. I looked downstairs and my net bag with my board and pull buoy was hanging from the closet door. I'm going for a swim!

I swam hard for over 45 minutes. At some point all I could think about was "Pull, pull, pull" I knew I was pushing too hard, but it felt so good. I love swimming, it's like moving meditation. I was able to empty my mind, work out all the negative energy. My arms are hurting, my legs and hips are hurting, I'm worn out, but I feel calm, ready to face the world.

I can't control everything, I can only do my best, but I sure can take care of myself so that I'm ready to hit the ground running when things start moving.

The leader doesn't have all the solutions, but the members sure do!

A good start to 2009

Happy New Year!

If I have one "motto" for 2009, I think it will be "Keep it simple but effective". I'm tired of trying to do everything all at once and ending up doing nothing. Ever feel that way?

So, no big challenges, no grand plan to reinvent the wheel. We have a new plan at Weight Watchers and I'm approaching it as a new member. I'm reading the plan, following the plan as written without any attempt to "better the plan".

I've also started a major decluttering of the house. It's the second time we do it, and this time it's for real. We plan on moving this year, so I'm pairing down what I own to the minimum. It's so refreshing to let go of stuff and just go back to the essential! I love it!

I'm also simplified my cooking a lot. I got to the point where cooking meant 2-3 hours in the kitchen, to the point where I wasn't enjoying cooking anymore.

I've been trying now to cook once for at least 2 days of food. This started with a need to save money, and now honestly, it makes my life much easier.

Here's a few sample of my "cook now eat a few meals":

Barley Pilaf:

Thursday night we had a vegetarian attack. I made a Spicy Barley Pilaf that I served with roasted asparagus and zucchini slices.

The following day we ate the leftover barley with sandwiches.

I know, barley with bread, carbs galore, but see? that's what I mean by keeping it simple. I wanted bread and barley, I had bread and barley. Counted it, end of the story.

Last summer I would have felt the need to cook something complicated because you just can't have bread with barley. Guess what? I did, and I survived!

Caribbean Drumsticks and Vegetable Rice:

Saturday we had a lot to do so early in the morning I prepared everything to make Caribbean Drumsticks in the crock pot. I went to Costco and put the chicken to cook when I came back.

It cooked all day smelling just heavenly.

When we started getting hungry, I threw chopped onion, carrots, celery and red bell pepper in the chopper attachment of my immersion blender. Minced all that and sauteed it a few minutes in a pan.

In the meantime, I microwaved Trader Joes frozen brown rice. Once the vegetables were softened (2-3 minutes of cooking) I added the rice, a little bit of broth, salt and pepper.

Dinner! With about 10 minutes (or less) of preparation.

I had leftovers of both the chicken and the rice. I also saved the cooking juice from the chicken. With that and the jalapeno chicken sausages I bought today at Trader Joes I was planning on making a soup later this week, but my husband had a great idea:

I sauteed 2 sliced sausages in my pan, added the cooking juices from the chicken last night, the rest of the chicken and 1/3 cup of edamame. I cooked that covered for about 2 minutes, added the rice, mixing well, a little broth, covered again and cooked for another 2 minutes.

I served that with green salad and baby carrots:


The chicken and rice mixture was pretty spicy, so the simple cold vegetables were a good "neutral" to eat with it.

We still have half left for lunch tomorrow. So with 1 crock pot recipe, we have 3 meals!

So simple and uncomplicated is the rule, and so far we're enjoying it!!

Be good n stuff!

OMG what a day!

Do you ever have one of those days that start as a slow lazy day, with "I have plenty of time to do plenty of things". As the day goes on, things are sort of piling up, but that's OK cause I'll have tomorrow and Friday to get everything done.

Then the phone rings, we need you to work Thursday and Friday. No problem, I need to work, I need the money.

Then you think about it and realize that your mostly short to do list just got a few items added, and your time to do it went from 3 days to a few hours.

I had one of those day.

I spend a big part of the day playing around on Facebook (whoever got me on there should be punished! it's addictive!). Then i had an ingenious idea for a Christmas gift for a loved one, worked on that for a while. Then I got that phone call... By then it was too late to catch up.

I spent the evening working my meeting in Cotati and then stayed around to take out all the 2008 material, and put in, organize the material for 2009.

Food today was horrendous. I ate too many Weight Watchers snacks. I was at the traveler, that's all there was.

Finally my husband brought dinner for me and Cheri (thank god she was there to help me out!) and I had a sandwich, not haute cuisine, but better than a chocolate bar. I like the snacks but really...

I didn't work out, thought I did carry all the boxes by myself.

After everything was said and done, I was ready to go home and crash... I still had to stop by a friend's house in Sebastopol to bring back her keys I had used Monday.

You know when you're so tired that you know you need to go home and crash, but you simply can't move? We talked for a while, I played with the dog, ran around the kitchen island... finally at 10pm, I headed home. 10pm, I usually am ready for bed by 9:30pm, how did I end up on the road that late?

Then of course I think about Facebook and all the old friends I've found on there.

All those people who knew me in my other life. When 10 pm is when I left home to start finding people to go out with. When 5:30 am was the time I would go home, not get up to work out.

Am I who I am now because that's the "real me" that I was avoiding for whatever reason when I was younger? Or am I playing a role because I think that's how I should be?

Maybe as you get older you just change and that's just how it is.

I know people older than me who are still spending the nights out and walking home at 5:30 am slightly offbeat and knowing that they have to get up in 2 hours. Are they still having as much fun as I did at 20 years old? Or are they just caught in a loop?

I don't care really, honestly, I'd rather go to bed early, get up early and not have a hangover. Ah!