Picking ourselves up (Part 1)

I've been away from this blog for a while. I think I needed not to think for a little bit, you know, go on automatic pilot and just push through. It works for a while, but never for very long. Now that things are settling down, for now, it's time to look around, dust myself up, and get back on my way.

I've mentioned that a member of my family was sick in the previous post, well, it brought on a lot of worry. I'm far away from my family, and I find it very hard to sit on my own waiting for news. Makes you realize how important your support system is.

The same day my cousin had a major brain surgery, my husband had a panic moment at work. At this point, his salary is the only thing keeping us afloat. It was a horrible panic moment. Do we stay in California? Do we sell the place (in this market?) and run off to Canada? Do I drop everything and start all over... AGAIN??

I don't deal well with stress, even less when it's things I can't control. Last night was the first night I slept all through the night in almost 2 weeks.

In the mist of all that, my "lifestyle" took a hit. I mostly ate well, and I tried to stay active, but if I'm honest with myself, I've slacked big time. I've been going through the motion, not really monitoring anything, and hoping against hope that the scale wouldn't punish me for my misdeed (how's that for turning food into a moral issue, I should listen to myself when I lead meetings!).

This is not working for me. I hate to feel out of control, I hate to feel out of shape, and I hate to hate. I'm addicted to positive thinking, so there!

I need a plan... I've gone through my list of quick fixes that I've tried in the past, and tried to remember which one worked. Can't remember any of them working. Darn! Looks like I'm going to have to do this the old fashioned way: Eat right, exercise regularly.

We did make a few positive moves this week:

The first one was to make a conscious choice, my husband and I, to "think positive". We were dragging each others down, because when one was feeling good, the other was stressing out. Of course, thinking positive doesn't make problems disappear magically, but it does give us the strength to push forward and permit us to use our energy on finding solutions, rather than whining. It has made life much easier and a lot more enjoyable this week.

Another thing I have done is to stop being so sloppy. I took the time to dress myself nicely this week, and to put myself together, not only for work, but also for when I'm home. When you dress sloppy, you think sloppy.

This is not to say that I'm turning into a Fashionista or anything (he he he not really my thing) but rather that I want to feel and look like I have some pride in myself. To be motivated to take care of myself, I have to feel good about myself, right?

Tuesday night, a security officer at the Ross Plaza told me: "It's nice to see that some women still like to look beautiful". AH! Made my WEEK! Bet he wouldn't have said that if I had been wearing my old jeans and beaten up T-shirt!

So we are turning things around, putting the ship back on course, but there is still a lot of "manning the sails" to do. I need a plan to make sure that food, and exercise is what it needs to be. Honestly, my husband is doing better at that these days. He has a 9 to 5 type job, and a gym next door to his work. He also has less free time than I do, which is less time to get in troubles. ;op

Honestly though, he's just better focused than I am right now. Kinda makes my Ego itch really. I need to get back on track. For pride sakes if nothing else. I need a plan for myself, that will be my next post on here!

Be good n stuff!