There comes a time when you have to stop and look at what you are doing isn't there? To ask yourself: "Am I going where I want to go? or am I just going aimlessly?"
Sometimes you run and run, trying to figure out everything, get everything done, and you realized that though you're running all the time, you never seem to get where you're trying to go. Things don't get done, or get half done, and yet, you never have a second to yourself.
That's when you really need to stop and think: What am I trying to do really? What are my goals? What am I doing to reach those goals? What is standing in my way?
That's where you need to prioritize and set limits: What is important to me at this point in my life? What can I do about it? and what CAN'T I do about it?
The first thing has to be my family. My husband, my pets, I don't have kids, but I still need to invest time and energy in "home". For my sanity, for my marriage. I think that for a couple to be together and remain together, it takes more than love. It takes work, persistence. You have to be willing to put the time and effort into being together, working through challenges. It takes time, time to be together, to do things together, to do nothing together. It has to be a priority, it's so easy to let everything else get in the way and lose sight of each others.
I realize, after trying to quit for almost 3 years now, that Weight Watchers is very important to me. I've been working for the company as a leader for about 4 years now, and I truly enjoy the work, and feel like, in my little weirdo way, I'm accomplishing something. That it matters somehow that I'm there boosting the spirit of my members.
I don't think I want to "make a living" as a leader, but I want to stay connected to the company and the program. Honestly, it's the members that keep me in there. They are so awesome! But I disgress...
So Weight Watchers is important to me too, enough to put some extra time into preparing meetings, drumming up an email letter every week and do the little things that you have to do to be a leader.
What else? I want to teach. I'm a middleschool-highschool teacher. I want to teach history and social science, I want to help teenagers open their mind to the world and it's diversity.
When I was teaching, in Canada, a student came to me after a very (VERY) trying contract. It was june, my job was done, she was graduating... she walked up to me and said:
"You know, when you took over the groups, you told us that all you wanted, was for us to look at the world with an open mind. That we could say "School sucks" if we wanted to, as long as we could back up our statement with a solid argumentation."
Not knowing where this was going, I smiled and I said "yeah".
"Well it worked, she said, I understand what you meant, and now I think before I take position on things, I try to look at all side of an issue before I take a position. I think this will help me a lot through Cegep and University."
I'm translating from memory, but that's the gist of what she told me. From that day on, I was hooked to teaching. I want to take those kids whereever they are, and bring them forward. A little, a lot, it doesn't matter to me, as long as they DO move forward.
I'm still a sub teacher, and I have to work at becoming a teacher. So that's one "spot" where my time and energy has to be focused.
Finally I need to put some focus on myself. I want to take the time to take care of myself, body and mind. To get out of this work out rut that I've been stuck in for way too long. Also I want to put some time on my hobbies. I think that if you don't have something to "escape" the stress eats you up. That's what hobbies are for! My main one is cooking, I love to cook, to research recipes and find ways to put them together. It's my creative outlet, since I sure can't draw. ;op
So where does that leave me? I have those 3 different things that are very important to me. Everything else is excess right? Things that I put my energy into, without bringing anything positive back.
This week I realized that my 3rd job wasn't bringing me anything anymore, worse than that, it was becoming a burden. It just wasn't worth the effort anymore. I quit. I felt guilty at first, but I'm not responsible for the whole planet, and I don't think I should continue to leave my family aside for whole evenings, for a job that doesn't pay, and that I don't enjoy anymore. I finaly found the strength to say no, and to set my priorities straight! I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.
With that out of the way, I can sit down and re-organize my priorities. Where do I start? My husband and I are both making an effort to "be together" putting quality time over quantity of time. Slowly but surely, we are finding each others again. Weight Watchers pretty much takes care of itself. I've been doing it for a long time, and know what I'm doing.
Now to the teaching stuff, that's where I am at right now. I need to sit down and plan. Figure out what I need to do, to get this dream of mine on track. I have set my limits, I have reorganized my priorities, now I can move forward!
Have you looked at your life lately? How are you spending your time? How do you need to be spending your time? Where can you cut? Where do you need to put your focus? C'mon, you can do this, all you need is a little organisation!
Be good n stuff!
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